Spirituality has always been very important to me; however, there has not always been others who share my same passion and enthusiasm. Many times my journey has been alone. I was raised Catholic and baptized and confirmed at an early age. I had considered myself Catholic, even though I had a brief encounter with Paganism as a teenager, along with many of the misconceptions that shrouds Paganism in general. Then I met my first husband who was a "devout" Christian and I began attending church with him. I was "saved" at eighteen, but still struggled with that belief. Since this was all I knew because I knew no other Pagans, I continued in the church for many years. I struggled with my belief because of some of my metaphysical experiences and because the experiences I had were considered sin or evil within the church (this discussion for another entry). I never believed that because people did not believe the way I did that they would be eternally damned. So, I became deeply involved in the church participated in every aspect of ministry there was. I was even a lay preacher in one of the churches I attended until I went back to a fundamental Baptist church that did not believe women could be preachers or clergy within the church. I had mixed signals as some denominations were filled with women preachers of which I held with a great deal of respect. Overtime, and with much experience in ministry, I did become an ordained Interfaith minister and have served as CEO and co-minister/co-owner of Rose Oak Interfaith Ministries. I do have over 20 years of ministry experience in various aspects of ministry: women's ministries, teens and children's ministries, addictions ministries, teaching, choir and music ministry, nursing home and shut-in ministries, weddings, funerals, homeless ministries, and on and on it goes.
Even with all the ministry work, my own personal spirituality sometimes suffered ministering to the needs of others. With much study and practice, I converted to Paganism and Wicca. I eventually had my own coven and all the duties that entails of being the High Priestess and the Clergy for the group of people I served. I have been a practicing Pagan for a decade.
October 2014, things in my life shattered as they do for many people. I was involved in so much "activity"--full-time work, operating a ministry, operating a coven, had a couple little side businesses, and was dealing with health issues and another personal issue. I had a nervous breakdown because my life was so unbalanced. I questioned my faith and spirituality, my community, my family, my job...somewhere in there I lost myself. I stepped back from everything and everyone. During the summer of this year, the Goddess Brigid began calling me. It was time to "find" myself and be what the Goddess wants me to be. But to find my balance (of which some days I still struggle). I needed to talk to someone and thanks to a pep talk from Rev. Mike Dangler of Three Cranes Grove, I have gotten myself back on track where I belong...on my spiritual journey, my service to the Old Gods, the Ancestors, and my Community. No, I have not arrived. None of us really do until we die in this realm. Who knows, it may take some of us many lifetimes "to arrive".
This is my journey...and I welcome you all to take a little walk with me. Your comments and thoughts are welcome!